Do ppl giggle during sex??
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- some rando: idk why everyone is saying mad max is so feminist. i mean the first time you see the "wives" they're in like cloth bikinis and rinsing of in a fire hose all sexy-like
- me: *crashes through a sliding glass door, knocks over a bunch of chairs, flips the bench he's sitting on* HAVE YOU CONSIDERED THAT THIS SCENE STRIKES YOU AS INHERENTLY SEXUAL BC YOU'RE USED TO SEEING WOMEN SEXUALIZED IN THIS WAY? THE "WIVES" HAD JUST SPENT HALF THE DAY IN A WAR RIG IN THE DESERT: THEY ARE RINSING OFF. NOT TO MENTION THE VERY NEXT SHOT SHOWS THEM CUTTING OFF CRUEL CHASTITY BELTS, A VISUAL REPRESENTATION OF THEIR REJECTION OF THEIR PRIOR STATUS AS SEXUAL OBJECTS AND POSSESSIONS. THIS SCENE APPEARS TO BE A CONVENTIONAL SEXIST TROPE BUT IN TRUTH IS A SUBVERSION OF WHAT WE'VE BEEN SOCIALIZED TO ACCEPT AS INNATELY SEXUAL-- MUCH THE LIKE ENTIRETY OF THE MOVIE.
One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to use them. And use them every time. The peace of mind you allow your partner will free her to be vulnerable with you, and that, my son, is exactly what sex is about. Condoms are sexy. In fact, call buying condoms foreplay.
(Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.
Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris.
Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.
Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own.
(Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.)Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.
Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.
Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.
Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers.
Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do.
Love, Dad.
we call ships ‘she’. We call our machines ‘women’. We compare women to black widows and vipers. And you’re going to tell me it’s not ‘lady-like’ to scream, to take up space, to fight and demand respect and do whatever the hell i want. You’ve looked at nuclear bombs and been so in awe that you could only name them after women. Don’t try to down play my power.
(via freeyourssoul)
If you can’t laugh during sex you’re having sex with the wrong person.
GEMINI
May 22 - June 21
Ruling Planet: MERCURY, The swiftest God in the skies, who also happens to be in charge of ultr-extreme raunchy talk Talking about sex is Gemini’s favourite hobby and doing it comes a close second.Gemini’s love flirting and lap up attention from the opposite sex, but sometimes that’s all they’re looking for.They need a lot of variety when it comes to sex - dirty weekends away, a quickie in a shop doorway, serious groping under the table at a fancy restaurant. A lot of Gemini’s are bisexual too and can often be drawn to those of the same sex.
Favorite Position: As long as it’s different every time, they’re not fussy, but if they must choose, it’s that naughty number right after 68, since they can come up for air if they need to.
Best Sex Toy: Any illustrated book about kinky sex, so Gemini can pick up some wild,
new ideas .
Gemini Male in Bed: He likes to give AND receive and can be quite inventive. He’s a lights on, in front of the mirror kinda guy and if you make a few subtle noises and talk a wee bit dirty, he’ll be very happy.
Gemini Female in Bed: She is more interested in IQ than private parts. If she can’t respect the intellect, then satisfaction is not possiblefor her. She may sleep around forever and never find her true love and she is not the most faithful of the signs. She likes sex on the run, in an airplane toilet, in the storeroom at work, in the backseat of a car…
The Best Way to Turn on a Gemini: Focus on the shoulders, arms and legs of a Gemini and you’re headed for the good books. They love a good massage and their hands are so sensitive that even having their fingernails played with sends shivers up their spine! Kiss up and down each of your Gemini’s arms, sneak in a few licks, nips and nibbles. If you get one or two yelps, then you know you’re doing something right.then, move onto the fingers, slowly kiss, lick, nip and nibble each fingertip, then pull out the killer move - suck on each finger, slowly, as if it’s a lollipop. I’ll almost offer a money back guarantee on this one working!
Like you can boss me around in sexual situations but you better not try to tell me what to do in regular life
the more sexual and inappropriate you are with me the better we’ll get along
Passion is a hell of a turn on. Seeing a man doing what he’s passionate about, is about as sexy as it gets.
